I have been planning my strategy for quite some time
now. What do I say? How much do I say, when? Then, in November I made the
life-changing decision to quit my job. I had never done anything like that
before. I have been laid off after 11 years of service, and I have been
fired…once, after two and half years of service.  Neither event was particularly pleasing, but
it is all part of life. You roll with the punches, sink or swim.  But to walk away from a job, a paying gig, it
was one of the scariest moments of my life.  I walked away because although I had and have,
bills to pay, it was now or never.  I
planned, freshened up my social networking sites, did everything I could to be
ready.
Ready for what? Ready to step into the role I believe
God prepared for me, or maybe it’s prepared me for. I have often heard people
say that if they had to go through their particular adversity again, they
would.  They would not change a
thing.  I am not of the same opinion, and
I do not foresee changing my mind about this. 
You see, well, let’s first define the term ‘white
paper’:
 ‘An informational document issued by a company to promote or highlight the features of a solution, product or service.  White papers are sales and marketing documents used to entice or persuade potential customers to learn more about or purchase a particular product, service, technology or methodology.  White papers are designed to be used as a marketing tool before a sale, and not as a user manual or other technical document developed to provide support to the user after making a purchase.’ (Investopedia.com).       
Well, I hardly feel that I am ‘persuading potential
customers…’, but more like I am providing ‘an informational document issued…to
promote or highlight the features of a solution…’ In my case reaching out to a
particular segment of society.  A segment
of society that we do not hear much about.  Why do I have to explain what I am doing?
Well, I do not really have to explain.    I want
the segment of society, the women that I am speaking to, to understand.  To understand that I understand, what they are going through because I have been
through the same thing.
What is that? I want to encourage women of all ages who
cannot/could not, have children.  Maybe
it’s me, but have you ever noticed that people start to squirm whenever that
subject does not come up?  People are not sure what to say when you tell
them you do not have children.  There is
an uncomfortable lull in the conversation, and then you can see their brain
working on an exit strategy from the conversation, from you.  Others say silly things like ‘children are
overrated’, or ‘you can have mine, they’re a pain’.  Most people are joking, but it’s just not
funny.  It would be better to say ‘I’m
sorry’, or say nothing.  I plan on
speaking to the hurting heart of childlessness, giving a voice to the pain.
Why?  Because I believe when you give voice
to your fears, your losses, your pain; although that pain might not completely
go away, it becomes less ominous.  I plan
to help make the pain less ominous.

My white paper, then,
is to help childless women realize that they, we, are as relevant to society as
women with children.  I want to be the ‘marketing
tool’ in the ‘white paper’.  We are not filler,
existing on the fringe of society.  We
are not bitter, hateful or weird.  Trust
me, I have heard it all.  

Unfortunately
some people will see my ‘white paper’, my mission, as a threat.  They will draw their children closer when I
enter the room, or they may make veiled remarks of feeling threatened.  Please know that if my message is not for
you, it’s OK.  I know for a fact that
there are millions of women around the world for whom this message will resonate.  I also believe that there are also millions
of men and women around the world who are open-minded enough, and not feeling
threatened, to want to understand.  I
applaud you and thank you.  I look
forward to helping others better understand that we all have different fears, losses,
and pain.  But we can overcome these facts
of life enough, to live a relevant and joy-filled life.  

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