I love the word worthy. To me, it epitomizes all that we are as childless not by choice, women. And men. For many years, I felt unworthy. I felt less than. Many times during the years when I still held out hope, I would ask God why I was here if I could not have the children I so wanted. What was the point of living? What would I do with the rest of my life?
My worth was wrapped up in becoming a mother.
At the time I had no idea there could be a worthy and worthwhile life, a good life. I did not know I could truly live a life filled with relevance and joy as a childless woman.
It would be years, more than a decade before I would truly turn my feelings of unworthiness into feelings of worth. Many societal norms lent to my feelings of unworthiness. Mother’s Day and the events surrounding that day:
Shopping for Mother’s Day gifts for my mom. Which I thoroughly enjoyed. I miss shopping for her.
The multitude of television commercials and advertisements in the days leading up to Mother’s Day.
Attending church on Mother’s Day.
Holding mothers up on a pedestal while telling non-mothers either ‘your day will come’, or ‘it just wasn’t meant to be.’
Society’s lack of understanding of the physical and emotional pain of trying to get pregnant or realizing motherhood would not be a part of our story.
And even the lack of understanding from the healthcare system. The list goes on. Society does not change on a dime.
As I arrived at using the word worthy for the platform in 2025, I decided to look up the definition. If you have been following me for any length of time, you know I like to define words even when we all know what that word means. So yes, I know you more than likely know what the word worthy means, but indulge me. It is important to discuss the definition, especially in the context of discussing childlessness.
So here goes: Worthy
‘deserving respect, admiration, or support.’
What defines a woman’s worth?
A Woman’s Worth Is The Whole Of Who She Is.
‘having worth or value’.
This, I really loved:
‘We are more than our age, weight, or beauty; more than the amount of money we make, our relationship status, or what our primary caregivers, church leaders, teachers, and society told us we should be. A genuinely empowered woman knows her worth is beyond measure.’ –Author Unknown.
(I could not find the true attribution to the above, as much as I tried. If you know, please let me know.)
(Quotes and definitions are from Google and Merriam-Webster.com.)
I strongly believe that as childless not by choice women, we must live the life we were created to live. And the best way to live that life is to know our worth. To know that we are worthy.–Civilla
